knowing

I was thinking today how there are some people that have things they can't go a day without. Or things that they always MUST do or their day is not complete. These are things like exercising, or moisturizing...little things that are just for you. As ritualized as I apparently seem to be, I do not have anything that needs to be done daily. Everything that I do I can do without. Heaven forbid I go out without makeup or brushing my teeth.

In my life I cannot think of any one thing that I have been consistently passion for. I have been thinking about going back to school and was talking to a colleague at work who still is studying and in the Geramn university system it is not as flexible for just taking one class at a time. What I want to do would be much easier in North America. Then he asked what I would want to study. That's a whole other thing. I have no idea.

I think the thing that I'm most passionate about is learning. But then I fall further down this thought hole and wonder if it's because I'm trying to fill some void, or trying to find something that I'm passionate about. Have I just not found something yet or do I just love experiences.

I think about moments when I feel happiest and it's when I'm just doing and not thinking, or having a good conversation with someone, or learning new things and seeing new places. I of course want to eventually be able to find some way to apply these passions into my life so that I can use what I love to propel myself forward and create positive and leave good and contribute.

I obviously have to think about the future in some sense but the road is just so open that I don't want to get so far down one path that I lose sight of everything else because it's ok to change your mind later (which is something I keep telling myself). I just don't want to have to start on some alien planet.

I also don't want to be one of those people that just doesn't know things. I like to know things because it helps me connect with more types of people.