gum (or kaugummi)

So this post is really anticlimactic compared to yesterdays so don't get your hopes up...

I am now staying with a wonderful friend of my former roommate Ina - her name is Vero and she lives with her boyfriend and they are kind enough to let me stay for some days.

Currently we are both 'hard' at work,

well I was hard at work until she offered me some gum about a half hour ago, and then I decided to comment on the fact that I haven't had gum in what I think is 9 months, like the last time I can remember was when I took the plane ride here. It's not that I really have anything against gum. I remember in high school having gum seemed to be a thing. Why on earth did we chew soo much gum in high school. And then there were the pieces that you had to save to eat until the end which was the window piece and you would be so pissed if someone didn't realize it and ate the window piece. People also hated to share gum most of the time.

I guess I haven't chewed it in a while because it seems pretty pointless. Like really what is the point.

I am no violet beauregaurde.

So now back to work, just saying my study situation is glorious. Adorable little apartment, and we have the huge window open sot hat we can creep on all the people walking back from the orangerie, which is about a half a block away.

Possibly the biggest news EVER!!

I have been having a difficult time thinking of clever ways for me to start this news, or how to tell my friends my news. As my opa thought...no I am no engaged...

I got a job!!!


And it is in Germany!!!

That's my celebratory  cheers!!

Yes...it's true.

So for all of you that just came for the news, you can stop reading...for the rest of you who want to hear about the process you may continue reading!!

First off I want to say it was not easy keeping a secret from the world. I was actually offered the Job on tuesday and I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops. I feel bad that I have to tell you the through a blog and through facebook...but I figured this was the best way - and if you really don't care about me..a. delete me off facebook b. don't read this blog

Please think of this as an intimate conversation between the two of us...

So it started off after you all know in the last post when I talked to my boss about having to grow up and get a real job...then this tuesday he invited me into the office and said (to sum up) - hey we want you to work here! And me being a responsible person, and starting to grow up remained cool on the outside but freaked out a little on the inside. 

So the position I was offered (and am taking) is similar to the job I am doing now, but with more responsibility and he sees me being responsible for larger customer groups. 

It was funny because today at work I started telling people about me continuing to work here and one lady was like, you are going to have to learn how to answer phones. Ma'am I know how to answer phones...I don't know how to speak German!! But a phone would be great...

I of course did a little plus and minus of the situation and it was clear that the pluses of staying far outweighed the minuses. I get industry experience in something, I can do the job and learn German, build my network and it's a good company! 

I think my biggest insecurity was the 'what-ifs' of the situation. Like what if this job is just settling, because I really don't need a university education for the job. I also don't know how much opportunity there will be to grow. And of course I will miss home!! The worst though was not being able to work at the golf course...I LOVE that job, but I have to be realistic and realize that it's also not a job I can do forever, especially not in winnipeg. One of my goals for the summer was to move out of my parents house. This was an end goal because it involved so many little goals, mainly finding a job.

I think the most difficult thing was that I have to be an adult and make a decision. It just sucks because there are SOO many things to think about. My contract is also only until the end of december, but naturally I will have the opportunity to extend it..but I really don't know how I will feel then and whether or not staying will be in my plans. This also affects big decisions like where I want to live and buying furniture..etc.

This is one of the biggest decisions I have ever had to made and I immediately spoke with both my my parents and syl and belec the night I was offered, I usually respect their ideas and I know they will help me make a reasonable decision. Mother was no help...she simply told me she wasn't going to say one way or another, then today she emailed me about the tax benefits of staying in manitoba. C'mon lady!! She's so logical it drives me nuts. Then I spoke with a stranger on the bus who was a canadian. I of course love talking to strangers so I spoke with her the whole ride home from work...she was clearly a sign, because she had also never met another canadian in darmstadt! Then I met with a work colleague of mine afterwork and we had a wonderful vapiano dinner and then had ice cream...new favourite flavour is Engel Blau (angel blue). And she is totally awesome in helping me think about things and I was fairly confident in my decision when I spoke with her, but after I felt like I didn't have to think about the decision anymore because it seemed to make itself.

I am really excited, especially because this means I'll get to do some ikea shopping!!

Also - I will be here for Euro 2012, which is going to be nuts!!!

and...I get to go back to Oktoberfest...decent..

you all better start planning your trips out here!

and plans to hang out when I'm home! - **(later addition) I should be more explicit and tell you that I will be home from May 13th until June 10th-ish....

me in 20 years

this is a little scary - this is what my mother looked like when she skyped with me last sunday (yes I asked permission to post this picture)

I think she is trying to become me.

to recap:

- a brock sweater (granted she did go to school there, although I did give her that hoodie)

- that's my mug

- she purchased glasses similar to mine

My song of the day

Freelance Whales, "Generator First Floor" (Live at Great Scott) from Boston Phoenix on Vimeo.

This song kills it!!

procurement

So last week I took what will hopefully be my last class of undergrad. It was a week long seminar on procurement. Somethings I learned:

- people working in procurement are often under qualified and are only put there because
- it's not the most well respected department of a company
- however, it is the most expensive part (this is where all your money gets spent)
- girls succeed as well as boys
- most consultants look to lower indirect spending
- I still hate walmart

I'm sure once I read my notes it will continue, but you probably don't really care about this. What I really liked about this class contrary to the rest of my mannheim experience was that it was more well rounded. Instead of some boring person standing at the front rambling about who gives a crap for an hour and a half I was actually able to listen most of the time. This was also highly influenced by the fact that course participation is a large component of our grade. I also really enjoyed that there was life lessons to be learned about business and it was all solely course material driven. We did also get lectures from 2 people that worked in the industry and another consultant. It was super hard for me to listen because the days were so long but it really demonstrated how good of a school mannheim is. I wish that it had a larger worldwide presence so that when I do go back to canada people will be able to recognize my 'prestige'.

We also got to do exercises in negociating, which I feel like I'm going to be to much of an empathetic person to have real success with. I don't want to be the person that always feels like I have to compromise so that a solution can be found. I think I'm usually to scared to fail that I'm not brave enough to win, which of course is not a winning strategy! In real life the stakes were so much higher than what we had in class and it is going to be so much more difficult because there is so much more to lose

Damn my woman hormones and need for everyone to 'get along'

But the prof was just so excellent and well informed - sometimes it's difficult to have a prof that seems to know a lot, because it is challenging, but that's just where the most information comes in...

I found this when I googled Dr. Thorsten Makowski - that's what my life was like. I'm not smart enough for grad school...

stevie G!

I spent like 2 hours this morning getting pumped up for the liverpool game later on today. How did I do this, by watching the documentary on steven gerard a year in the life. Man is that guy cool. What I like about the doc is that you can really see that he is in love with the game. He even comments on how he sees other players only play for money. It must be nice to be that talented.

I think that if I was ever a celebrity I wouldn't stand behind products unless I really did support them. Now I recognize that endorsements pay extremely well, but don't worry I'd just charge more because everyone would know that it's truly credible when I support someone.

Wieder Versichert

So I will now be able to tell you the wonderful details of myself that I have not been able to share with you for the past few weeks due to illegality. It's gonna be a long one so I'll get you a chance to change into your comfortable pants, maybe grab a drink...


ready...?

Ok, so about three weeks ago I wanted to register for my procurement exam (which actually reminds me that I still need to do that) and anyways the dialogue screen wasn't loading properly or displaying the correct information. Not understanding why I emailed the support staff and I received a simple response...because you are not matriculated. wtf...that didn't make sense. So I emailed the liaison and so at the beginning of the year she told me that I had to pay a fee of 59 euros and the school would reimburse me because of all the crap that happened with this class I was supposed to take last year. In my mind I didn't understand that this money had to be paid to enrol me. I needed the money at the time and needed to be fluid so I figured it would just show a debit and then credit to my account, like it would at Brock. Sadly not the case. She told me that now I would have to pay those 59 euros without a reimbursement, plus an additional 20 euro late me. I was so cheesed, but by this point I just don't want to go back to school at all. So I had a little freak out and had to figure out what I wanted to do. Ideally I would be just taking a class at home and getting it done with there were I figured it would just be less complicated. I wanted to just be sure about insurance so I emailed the insurance company...

The response?

You haven't had insurance since february.

Oh....

So I immediately realized that I would be taking this class, but first I needed my insurance back. Literally that process took about two weeks, and finally I got it back today. Meanwhile I had to register with the city. It is illegal for me to be here without proper insurance. Luckily I got something else. Something so that I can cross the borders.

I was also riding my bike home the other day and my tires got stuck in the streetcar rails and all I could think was I can't get hurt, I'm not insured!!  

So hopefully stress is relatively reduced in the next few weeks because I don't actually have a place to live after saturday...so that's kind of fun..

Anyways - I'm  in mannheim at my couch surfers place, she has gone out for the night and I am stuck in doing homework and watching the soccer game. I'm friggen tired though. Perhaps I'll just go to bed early and get up early to do my homework then.

conversations with strangers

You know how when you are young your parents tell you never to talk to strangers...this has been a rule that I lately have not followed. I have been talking to strangers left, right and centre...ok maybe not that often, but at least left and right...

Left - on wednesday after work I decided not to go home straight after work. I wanted to go look at some books at the book store because I love to read. It's kind of nice that one of the local book stores has a large english book section, and a bargain bin, but that's all full of german books. I wanted to pick up a few so that I can bring them home and keep up my german a little through the summer. Then after I wandered over to the english book section. I grabbed a book that seemed a little interesting and sat down and started to read. Then I saw someone wander over and look at books on the right side of me and it's not often that germans (or so I thought) would be reading english, so in german I asked "sind sie engländer?" and so we got to talking and no she was not from england, but had spent four years living there. The conversation lasted about fifteen more minutes and that was that. It was nice.

Right - today I decided that it was important after my shopping extravaganza to stop for a relaxing cappuccino. It was a little chilly outside and I was thinking, great I have my book and I don't want my fingers to freeze so I'll sit inside. Sadly it was packed, but I recalled my german prof last year said that it is common in germany to join strangers at a table. So there was a kind older lady sitting by herself, I sat down to the right of her, my left and we exchanged a few words. Then we got to talking a little more - the waitress came over and she was getting ready to pay, and by this point we were starting to get comfortable and she even paid for my drink! I couldn't express my gratitude. We then continued to talk about everything for the next 45 minutes. It was a wonderful chat. Then we exchanged goodbyes, and never names. But it was such a fun interaction. I'm scared that when I see her again I won't recognize her. But it was still such a nice interaction. And a great cappuccino!


Side note - there was an old man on the table over and he was I'd guess 75 years old, came in looking a little shaky as he walked with his cane. But put away TWO sizeable beers and ate a massive plate of food. I was so impressed, but then I remembered where I was...I decided against taking a picture although that would have been great.

I also realized that the other day on the bus another old lady talked the entire way home with me. I found out how she likes to eat her fish...Fried, with little breading (if any)

Completely unrelated, here is the picture of the day.

russian royalty

 When I was a young'n I remember there was a book in my elementary school library that was like a little diary from the princess Anastasia, who was the youngest daughter of the last royal russian family. The picture had many personal photos from the family and sort of told the story of the family. I don't know what has kept me so fascinated with this story. I have always been a pretty big history nerd so that kept me intrigued, and there was just something about the tragic story, and the connection through the photos that interested me. I had a book called my anastasia which was about a poor little girl who went to live with the family that I read countless times.

Then this wonderful movie came out in 1997 - and that was even greater. I think the whole story that she could have survived the shooting that killed the rest of her family was rad - but I kind of get the feeling that this was just a way to keep hope alive for the russian people.

I'm clearly not going to go into a whole diatribe, and analyze this whole story to death.

What I wanted to really come across is the fact that anastasias mother was a german princess that came from DARMSTADT!!

So on one of my adventures home one day I remember that I have already told you through the mathildenhöhe. In this area there is also a chapel and I thought that's cool. Of course as usual I had to look through wikipedia and it turns out that this russian chapel was dedicated by the tsar to the city in honour of his wife. It's super cool.

So last weekend, it was wonderful weather - so I went and rode my bike up the hill (lack of fitness didn't help) and sat on the fountain in front of the chapel and just read my book. It was beautiful. I took a picture - here it is

growing up (aka freaking out)

I had one of those moments today..you know when you are really unclear about what you want with your future...reminiscent of what most new grads feel I assume. I won't be so callous as to say that I am a new graduate yet, but these feelings have started.

I went and talked to my boss at work today about whether or not there was a potential of any plans for me with the company I am interning with. We talked about where I want to live...and immediately, of course I'd love to stay in Germany. But then I started thinking about it....

Don't worry I'm not stressed, or super anxious, or losing sleep about this...

It's just scary for me to think about staying somewhere for longer than a year. I am just trying to find out how long I have to be in canada to qualify for some stuff...but I feel like I'd be willing to live anywhere. But Then I got to thinking, wherever I work is where I am going to have to make a life. Then that led me to thinking about actually being an adult and actually starting to build a life. Up until this point I feel like I always have these things that I look forward to. Right now I'm looking forward to going home. In summer I always get excited about going back to school. I am just scared about getting bored somewhere and getting stuck in a rut and being unhappy with the choice that I've made.

I'm going to hopefully try to combat these feelings by not freaking out about it and try and keep myself entertained instead of sitting around waiting until I die.

Wow that ended on an awfully  morose tone.

Saint Peter

So I went to church today...and no this is not an april fools joke. I think that as a christian it is important to visit other churches so that you can get a more well balanced view and keep yourself challenged. Today I went to a catholic church just down the street. Normally I feel a little bit uncomfortable with catholicism because I don't agree with the need for the power of the papacy, and historical corruption. I don't like the thought of an intercessor, nor do I believe in transubstantiation - although these could all be a product of my upbringing seeing as how historically my church was founded on these same principles.

So today was palm sunday and it was neat because many of the people brought live branches,not palms - I'm not plant expert, but perhaps they were laurels?? And some of them had decorated their bouquets with ribbons and it was so pretty. Anyways, during the service they read the entirety of the easter story and I as usual did fade in and out a little, but during the part when they were talking about how Peter will deny Jesus three times before the rooster crows, I was listening and I was like 'why did they choose to include this'. I think that it is important because it shows us that Jesus understands that we are going to have doubts and experience these moments and feel shame and this comes with much pressure from society. Believe me, being a christian isn't easy. I think this story is important because Jesus recognizes us for it, but will still love us. It also may have in some way given Peter an even greater love for Jesus, because even though Jesus knew what he was going to do, he was still there with Peter as a brother/father? This story also provides Peter with an opportunity to recognize the legitimacy of Jesus who is foretelling minute details that prove how powerful he is.

Also I was paying attention to the part when Jesus is on the cross and says 'Father, why have you forsaken me' and I don't have any explanation for why he would say this. Maybe it shows us that he was completely man and had his doubts, perhaps he was just never affected by the naivety and cynicism of the world because his faith was so strong prior to this moment. Couldn't tell ya - I'm not God! ha

Churches always make me think of history - especially being in catholic churches. The church is located right beside an old historic residence, so I wonder if any of those residents attended this church. Architecturally the church look like it had been rebuilt after the war without a massive budget.

It's also interesting that I was in a catholic church in Germany, considering my anabaptist history. It's weird to think of how the catholic church used to be the only option. And that people would go unable to read or truly understand because of the Latin scripture. I got a sense of that today because there were many times where I just couldn't understand because the space was so echo-y and the words were hard to make out. They were also expected to stare at the host through the entire thing. It's just hard to imagine.