consequences of seperation

So this blog isn't meant to call anyone out in some weird passive aggressive online way...because I know two of my friends to regularly mean this. I've already talked with them...but I just want to tell people (and remember for myself) that moving away is starting to show the disadvantages.

It's great having friends, really it is...but this weekend when I had some people over I was shown how few I actually have left in the city. It's truly difficult coming back to winnipeg because you want to hop right into things like nothings happened, but if you aren't in constant comunicado with some people it seems that they forget you, but I'm not ready to be forgotten. I think that I have a way different feeling that a lot of other people do about me leaving. I think that there are to many people that have forgotten. So I sent out invitations about three weeks ago via facebook private message because I wanted people to actually have time to come and see me. It wasn't supposed to be anything formal, but I wanted people to be able to come and go as they pleased. I wanted to do something like this because it is so difficult to see everyone while I am home, and in this kind of a setting I was able to see everybody and entertain them all at once. The limitations of time have been really affecting me more than they have any other time I've been at home for such a short period. I just really have to make an effort. I hate having to make this effort though.

There are people that I really want to see because I value their friendship, but it's not at all important to others and it makes me sad. I do feel like high-school D all over again, and I guess it seems that this will be something I continue to struggle with. I don't think people realize how much I value them, but I don't know if what I am supposed to do with that. Is it time to let things go, considering I am moving away indefinitely. I just think it's sad that other people see the distance as such a barrier (that's the only justification I have in my head). Every year until now I've been home for four months during the summer and they couldn't make an effort and it does really make me sad. Maybe I have expected to much...But I was just really struck when someone said to me last night ' wow, I thought there'd be more young people here'. So did I!

Perhaps I should have sent follow up messages to everyone so that they didn't forget. Certainly some of my friends are forgetful.

I'm now in the second half of my 'vacation' and I really don't think that people realize that I'm literally only here for another two weeks and after that I don't know when I'll see them again. I would think that would light a fire under some people, but we will see...