Dieburger Biergarten

Yesterday I made plans with Ina to do something. She really wanted to go to the Dieburger Biergarten...somewhere I have never been which she described as a rock club. Naturally I am a pretty open person so I agreed to go.

It is not often the case that I immediately realize that I do not fit in somewhere. This was an exception. The fact that I was wearing a white T-shirt already made me an outcast. I immediately needed a beer to try and normalize the situation. I felt very much like I just couldn't categorize anything that was going on

The bar had two rooms and the one that we were in had a "tree" in the middle of the room, which was really just a decorated support column. The rule there is that when you dance, you face the tree. When we first arrived they were playing "medieval metal", like metal lord of the rings music. Slowly it progressed into all sorts of different types of thrash and it seemed to almost be like a cult, because everyone would kind of move backwards and forwards in unison around this tree and it looked almost like swelling. It felt though, as though the tree was there so that people could avoid actually having to make eye contact with others.

What made everything more terrifying is that it was a halloween party and Ina and I were in the 4% of people that were clearly not wearing costumes. The rest of the people it seemed were all pretty dressed up, like what would be dressing up for me. I think however that a lot of people simply added some fake blood, or painted their faces because it seemed like they were wearing the clothes that they would wear normally. They just perhaps went one step further down that road.

For me the highlight of the evening was watching people dance. It was all very intense and aggressive. I have never watched multiple people headbang in public before in a serious manner. I saw a nun headbang. I also have the feeling that the type of people who were in attendance were misfits to some extent, but it was nice that they have a place like this to come.

For me I was just happy to hear some music.

Putting the east back in easter

Around christmas time there seem to be a lot of campaigns about "putting christ back in christmas". I am totally for these. I think however that I have become quite cynical in holidays, and I think this is likely because the true meaning for celebrating isn't the reason that people are celebrating by the majority of the people. In this I mean, people that aren't christians are celebrating. I just always wonder what kids who are raised in secular homes think that the day celebrates. I actually can't quite wrap my head around why non-christians celebrate. I mean I appreciate having the time off, and it is good to have holidays in order to spend time with family. I think in todays age and society, holidays are times to celebrate ourselves more than anything.

To me personally I feel that easter is so much more of an important holiday than christmas. It is naturally important that our christ and saviour was born, but we needed him to take our sins on and die, otherwise we would be no closer to God than we were earlier. But at the same time, I do not believe that one day in my life is more important than another in the eyes of God. Naturally I will have high and low points, but I do not believe in holy days. I think they are nice to use in order to perhaps centre spiritual journeys and ideas, but I cannot just not think about the resurrection in four months. It is as important today as every day. These days are perhaps good times for us to dig deeper into specific themes related to the story and it's nice to have it come conclusion on the fest day. This is another reason I don't understand people going to church on holidays. The day really should be so arbitrary. God is equally important every day. Even on a tuesday....

But I don't understand, where are the housewives and conservatives arguing about easter....??

I was thinking about my faith today, and I think that one of the reasons that I believe is because everything that God represents are things that are so important to me. Why would I ever want to live in a world without them. I also don't believe that these things are mutually exclusive. I think that without God would mean that these things don't exist. I can't believe that we are here by chance. I read yesterday the quote from Albert Camus which really summed of perfectly how I feel at the moment about things in general. “I think my life is of great importance, but I also think it is meaningless.” I just something have a tough time placing God in this world because sometimes the worlds just seem to different, but I have resolved myself to the fact that I will have to keep pushing, and keep searching for more answers, because satisfaction would never be attainted in giving up and settling.

monuments men

A couple weeks ago buzz feed posted something about a whole bunch of military artifacts that are being kept in storage. I didn't have any interest until there was a little blurb about actual artwork from Hitler himself. I thought this was compelling so I clicked further. There was a little video clip from the documentary that shows this art work, which has been seen by very few people (I mean really....where and how does one post such things, but one also cannot destroy them). The documentary, the rape of europa (great name, considering this is also a famous work of art), details the story of nazis stealing treasured art works during the war and the resistance against this. It was soo interesting. I give it a high recommendation.

The film monuments men is based on this same story. I literally just looked at the cast at christmas, saw the tag line and I was sold. So tonight, I was able to see it, in english, in Germany.

I will start off by saying - the story is so interesting and the whole concept of the film is amazing. Somehow though, it all seemed a little bit to Disney (although not disney), and very sensationalized.

Some observations:
There was no need for a love story. That is not what this story was about.

The film in general had a very "f yeah, america!"-vibe. I had initially invited a friend to go with me but she expressed hesitation, because she is sick of seeing movies about how americans are the heroes. I felt quite sympathetic towards the Germans during this, and understood now what my friend said. There were definitely jokes that would go over much easier in North America, but I think that everyone here knows enough of the devastation that Germany experienced during the war that little jokes seemed cruel. I recognize the hostility, but I felt rubbed the wrong way, and I am sure I wasn't the only one in that theatre.

Further on that note, there never seems to be movies that are Pro-German in the war. I would like to see more about people who were scared and didn't know what to do and didn't have the courage to resist. I think that would be an interesting story. To experience some of the manipulation and the thought pattern of the people being influenced by propaganda.

I think it is interesting that the americans became the champions of art. When you think about it today, europe seems much more cultural and historic than america. This makes it interesting that they were the ones here preserving. I mean, if not them then who? Thanks for saving the art, but I think there was a distinct lack to what the europeans did for themselves, especially the italians, and the french who were hiding works from the louvre throughout the countryside. Then I think about the art of america and importance there. Significantly less funding. I think this is why such a difference is noticed between these continents.

So would I recommend this film. Not really, but I do not regret seeing it.

lessons for insurance sales

I am in the midst of changing my insurance here. Interestingly all "public" health insurance in Germany costs the same thing, but each carrier naturally has different benefits. Also, this gets automatically taken off your paycheck.

When I first moved to Germany I started with AOK because that was the first one that I found, and they had a campus representative. Easy was all I cared about. Even back when I decided to stay here I found that I had some difficulties, even living 2 months (unknowingly) living without insurance (which is illegal).

Over the course of some lunches, colleagues and I have talked about insurance, and it seems the consensus was that no one was insured by AOK. I decided, hey why not make a switch because there are some other benefits that interest me.

I finally stopped being lazy and wrote an email asking how far in advance I would need to cancel my insurance. The response...sehr geehrte Herr Schmidt - Dear Mr. Schmidt. grrrrr

I sent off my cancellation letter and received a phone call last week from the sales rep who would need to come by and drop off my papers of cancellation, and I knew naturally would try and convince me not to leave.

He just came by, and sir....I am at home with some killer headaches and you show up with a dual combination of cologne and cigarette smoke. It's clear he is an auto-smoker which is so disgusting. I just wanted him to leave as fast as possible. Instead of inviting him into my house I just let him stay in the foyer. I didn't want my house to smell like him after. There were some last ditch efforts he made in trying to change my opinion, but to no avail. I have some literature but I really do not care to read it. On of the other points he made was that there were many more people insured by his firm than the one I am going to switch to....so what. It could just mean that 24 million people are unhappy.

The impression of the people that AOK hires leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

17-01-14

So yesterday was the day i heard about ellen page coming out...literally my first reaction, was who cares!! I saw the headline and scrolled further. I mean good for her, but it really doesn't make a difference. Later on in the day one of my friends posted the video of her speaking at a human rights convention. I decided, hey, why not, I'll watch. Her speech was just fantastic, and I really appreciated her desire to want all people have fair treatment. She talked about the pressures that she has experienced to be a certain way due to the nature of her job. I thought, at the very least she is a good actress and can do that. Acting however is awful for the soul.

I do think she could have picked a better platform. Everyone gave her a standing ovation after her announcement. Good choice lady. My reaction - I was happy for her, but it still changes nothing in my life.

I thought it was really funny because after scrolling down and reading some of the comments, I got the impression that no one else cared.

I think at this point, there are enough people that it could soon just be normal. Like her casually mentioning in an interview that she and her girlfriend or whatever, or just show up on the red carpet with her partner. Celebs keep their relationships s secret for the most part anyways that it doesn't really matter what sexual orientation you have.

The smallest world

I have another crazy small world story

A colleague of mine has a friend living in whistler

One of my friends from winnipeg has now also moved there...

guess who have become friends!

the need to learn

I often find myself feeling quite guilty just to actually sit and veg out and relax. I think that it would be really cool to be on of those people that simply just knows so many things and can converse in every topic. This is a reason that I enjoy travelling so much, because I get to learn and see and experience.  I also feel like the more I learn about these places the more I gain from it. Often times after I see something I end up doing research after I go somewhere. I wonder if I actually learn to appreciate more after I have been somewhere.

My dad also loves to learn and has been doing some online exploring of mennonites in Amsterdam and sharing some of these insights with me and I am even more appreciative. I wonder if knowing everything makes an impact on how much a visit to a new place will touch and affect you.

home and alone and quiet

I just spent the most wonderful vacation at home with my parents. I left on the 20th of december and returned to Germany again on the 5th of January. It was the first time that I was able to celebrate christmas (on the actual day) with my family in many years. I really did end up getting almost everything done that I wanted to thanks to some solid planing...

Some reflections from the trip

It was a total fantasy - I barely did any housework and didn't have to clean up once. I just slept and ate and was literally driven wherever I wanted. I preferred not to drive due to the fact that the roads are an utter nightmare in Winter. I almost saw two car crashes as a result of this - not to mention to one flip I did experience on the QEW highway outside Toronto and many cars in ditches. This lack of having to do anything clearly made me a bit of a diva, and it is hard to give up when I think that here I have to do literally everything for myself. I think that being at home I realized that it was not the real life and that if I did decide to move back home it would not be like that.

Continuing on with this idea of being home isn't a reality, being at home made me miss being in Germany. Perhaps it is because I am still discovering so many things here. I always had to have a list ready in my head as to why I liked it better in Germany, often tailored to my audience. The concept of "Ich fühl mich wohl" is often difficult to translate and communicate into English. But I do feel like in Germany, I am living as the truest of myself. Perhaps this is because I do not have the same kind of support system and this I am at the bare minimum. I also like my friends here and I have grown very comfortable and consider this to be my home. Staying at home, I don't think I would grow up properly because I would still want to rely so much more on my parents, who naturally would do the correct thing in throwing me out of the nest, annoying me in the process.

I felt like a weird hybrid of kid-adult. I was living the same life that I had as a kid. I even went to visit a friend and as we were leaving his place (a grown up thing) we were each getting picked up by our parents, and I remarked to him that I felt like we were 15 again.

I got to see my grandparents in person again for the first time in 2 and a half years. It was really wonderful. They have gone through a lot in this time. Adapting from a downsize from their farm into a house, and now they are really starting to see a lot more road signs telling them "You are old". My grandmother has also been diagnosed with Alzheimers and has began to see many of her freedoms being taken away, which for a woman of her confidence and determination is quite difficult for her. It was so lovely to see them, and also have the chance to reconnect with two cousins at the same time. Grandma also spoke to my mother the day after I was there and said it had just been a delight to have us all together. I really did value my time with my grandparents and especially one cousin whom I had never really connected with. Despite my time at Brock and being in the same area I have always felt quite distant and not connected with my mothers side of the family. At least the first 18 years of my life it could be blamed on proximity. I guess the argument is valid again.

Being home again is the first time that I have been completely alone in 2 and a half weeks. It's nice, but I do miss the company of others and loved ones at little.