Leaving

It's my last week here....I'm scared.

I don't know why. I guess maybe the fact that I'm starting a new job in a month and I have still not yet found a place to live...oh yeah, and I'm going to be travelling around europe the three weeks prior to this. You all will get the lucky experience of me rubbing in the fun experiences of my parents visit.

But after that....I'm alone. For the first time in my life I'm literally going to have no one. I'm going to have to do absolutely everything myself. In another language. I'm excited for the fact that I'm going to be able to improve my language skills, and especially being able to work here. This is an opportunity that very few people get. It's really scary to think about. I know I can do it though.

I really like myself and I'm very proud of the independence that I have and my ability not to worry about things. I think that my drive will be important during my internship because I'm going to be getting paid dirt. One of the reasons that I am having such a difficult time finding a place to live is because finding a place within my price range is turning out very difficult. The biggest thing is that people want someone who is going to be living there longer than 4 months. I get that, it saves them trouble down the road.

I also realize that with insurance costs that I will need to live on less than 100 euros a month. Let's just say that's a lot of pasta. Cheapness may be the best diet I've ever had.

I've been inspired however by kate lanphear who is the style director at elle magazine. I read somewhere that when she was young she lived out her dream by interning in london - living the whole time in a hostel and eating bread with peanut butter everyday. If that's what it takes I'm willing to do it. My goal here is to make contacts and better prepare myself for jobs further down the road. Being multilingual will open a lot of other doors for me as well (or so I hope) and I know that I want to come back here one day.

I think the saddest thing is that my first day of work is on my birthday. My first birthday that I will ever be by myself. I'm going to have the best attitude though. I'm going to really appreciate the opportunity that I have, and the fact that I will have just spent an amazing three weeks with my mother and father.