Delayed Gratification

I know this is something that I have talked about before - but because I don't care...I'm gonna do it again.

I don't know why this is - maybe the fact that I'm a christian makes me focus more on my future and the promises of eternal life (which I don't know if I imagine gold streets - just something really good, I'm not God  - back off!!!). But I realize I'm very different than a lot of people because when I need something I don't need it NOW.

I think that I sometimes feel like I'm going to enjoy things more if I wait for them. I like to always save the best for last. Maybe it's just a curse of laziness that I just don't want to do something because I'm really lazy.

But I've also noticed it when I go on walks - I like being able to walk because I know that I won't sit at home in bed and be lazy, and all the shows and time I'm going to spend on the internet is going to be worthwhile because I've 'earned it'. Maybe I just have this subconscious need to earn things. I know that I have a weird little system of rewards that I play with myself, like - first you clean, then you can eat a cookie. Maybe it's just the way that I motivate myself. I also like to delay things because I'm worried that in the future I will be bored and need them then. The same way I don't wear clothes because I just like to keep things special. In fact, I still have a pair of underwear that I were purchased before I came to germany that still have the tag on them.

I wanted to make this post more elaborate because it's something that I've noticed a lot lately about myself.  I realize that my biggest concept was just about the fact that I'm a big fan of delayed gratification. In general I'm just a more externally focused person, and worry less about satisfying my instant needs.